I'm Good
by audreydelrey
Summary: Not everything goes as planned in life, Craig Tucker knows that. He knows he has a crush on Stan Marsh, and it seems Stans current relationship is going down the drain. Will things work themselves out? {Stan x Craig} {Kenny x Clyde} Rated T for now


I tap my fingers along to the beat playing in my ears. Some stupid alternative song that was oddly catchy, plays in all the stupid commercials.

"Hey Craig"

I can barely hear him so i pull out an ear bud, "Hey Kenny what's up man."

"My dick, have you seen Stan today? Almost wish we weren't friends so I could shamelessly hit on him" I roll my eyes at the eccentric blonde boy.

Stan Marsh had, admittedly, become really fucking hot throughout the years. "He's straight or I would tell you to go for it." It comes out colder than I meant it but I'm Craig Tucker, I don't give a fuck about other people. Except maybe Clyde, my best friend since damn elementary, some of the guys on the hockey team, and Rosie when she isn't pissing me off.

"Not like you'd know Tucker, but he has messed around with dudes before." Kenny chuckles, "when Red found out she almost cut his balls off."

Red had somehow won out on the race to be Stan's long term girlfriend, they began so called 'dating' in middle school now here we are junior year and they're still together. I can't imagine him cheating on her, much less with a guy.

"I call bullshit, they're all over each other all the time." Red was no longer properly named, her hair dyed a gross blonde, and she was as oranger than Snooki. Pretty disgusting to me but that could be attributed to the fact I find maybe three people on the planet attractive. Stan Marsh, Clyde Donovan (my frequent drunken hookup despite our friendship and him being so called straight), and Orlando Bloom. He was an amazing Legolas.

"Its true, got all hot and heavy with jew boy one night at a party, crushed Kyle, pissed off Red, I don't think he really gave a shit about either," sounds like Stan Marsh. He is captain of our football team despite being a junior; he's your stereotypical jock asshole, only reason I tolerate him is we play on the same hockey team. That and he's pretty hot but whatever.

Thought of him twisting tongues with Broflowski are enough to make me gag, but make me jealous at the same time, douchey but so damn attractive. Im bi, but I don't exactly advertise it, meaning everyone except Clyde and Kenny think I'm straight.

"Anyways sounds like there's trouble in paradise. Stan, according to that spiteful bitch Wendy, is looking for out of that relationship." Well that's a nice thought. "I think if its true I'll make a move ya know? I mean nothing-permanent just sex. See what Reds been going on about these last few years. Sweaty locker room sex could be fun but hey I'd let you have your turn of course." Kenny keeps rambling on but I don't care to listen anymore, signaling so by throwing my ear bud back in, and walking out of the cafeteria. I wander to out behind the school and pull out a cigarette.

"Stan! Are you even listening to me?" Her eyes automatically fill with hurt, after, once again realizing I was indeed, not listening.

I frown slightly, "it's all the same anyway Red, not like im missing something important." I feel bad that I'm being mean; I don't like hurting her feelings. I just don't really like being with her anymore. Shit four years of this nonsense might be it. She's not exactly who she used to be. She's fake and kind of repulsive now. She wonders why I cheat.

I still grab her hand though and flash an apologetic smile for snapping on her like that. "Why don't you love me anymore Stan?"

I never did. "I loved the old you Red, now you're just like Bebes lap dog and you try to look just like her. I don't like this new you. I think I just need some space for awhile ok?"

"No its not ok Stan! If… if you leave me I'll tell everyone about you fucking around with Kyle, and with Kenny! You don't get to leave like this!"

I laugh, "ok whatever's gunna make you feel better Red."

Her eyes blow open. "Ill ruin you, I'll tell your coach, who wants a fag on the team?"

"Well Christ why would I want an ugly bitch for a girlfriend?" There's that hurt again, I know she wouldn't do any of the things she threatened its not how she is. She's not Bebe, as hard as she tries sometimes.

She cries, I hold her, this damn cycle is endless.

I want out. "I love you so much Stan, I just want you to love me too"

With a sigh I kiss the top of her head. "I do care about you Red you know that, I just need a break. If you and I can work I just want you to be you. Not… Bebe." This will never work, but I can fake it at least until summer so it'll be easier.

She sniffles, I feel awful for doing this to her. I never wanted it to be like this, I didn't ask to be bi, nor did I ask for things to get this hard with her. "Stay, please, Stan. I don't want to lose you. Not to Kyle, to Kenny, or god forbid Wendy."

She lost me a long time ago; I just don't know how to tell her.

She might not have ever had me. How can you lose what you never had?

I'm not exactly sure when hockey became all that popular, maybe because the Avalanche got hot a while ago but I'm glad it did. It's relaxing, skating, and beating the shit out of people when it's warranted, going to the penalty box. I play defense its my strong suit, the center on my line none other than Stan Marsh, who cant seem to pull his head out of his ass today at practice. My defensive pair Clyde noticed this as well and voiced his thought, "Pull your head out of your ass Stan or coach is gunna scratch you tomorrow night!"

Coach Smith wouldn't scratch Stan, we all knew it, I mean he leads our team in goals and assists. He's just too good to pull for a game.

I skate over to where he's standing and pause next to him.

"The fuck is up man?"

He looks up at me a frown on his face. "Just kind of out of it."

Well no shit.

Nodding, I look around to see if his toy was anywhere to be found in the stands. Surprisingly she's absent, strange. "Lady troubles?"

"Bingo." With a sigh he looks up at me, I have a few inches on him, "Reds driving me insane. No matter what I do she wont let me break up with her." I nod for him to continue. "I just want out, I've wanted out for awhile now."

I see our coach look at us, "Look man if you wanna go get some food and talk after practice let me know."

"Yea, that sounds great, thanks Craig."

With a nod I skate towards center ice so we can do drills.

What did I just suggest, dinner with the guy I have a gay crush on? Great.

If I could just disappear I would be _**so**_ happy.


End file.
